“The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority but to escape being in the ranks of the insane”. The excellent work of Danielle Crittenden “what our mothers didn’t tell us: why happiness eludes the modern woman” cannot help but further strengthens my belief of the modern feminism as an unnecessary evil and a misleading concept.

While I forecast myself at the peak of my career, get listed on Forbes magazine, make headline news, cover front pages, give more and get more, own conglomerates, be the CEO of my home, still and still nothing frightens me more than the thought of losing everything while chasing and wanting everything.

The original master minders who coined the concept of feminism starting from Margaret Sanger of birth control pills to the French author and philosopher Simone de Beauvoir who reduced her views on feminism into a logical quote “one is not born a woman but becomes one”, to Kiimberly Crenshaw with the idea of intersectionality, to Alice Walker of oppression of colored women by white women, to Betty Friedan’s view reduced to writing in the feminine mystique (1963) among others. Their views on feminism was channeled towards attaining civil rights and equal treatment for the female gender. They campaigned for women's legal rights (rights of contract, property rights, voting rights); for women's right to bodily integrity and autonomy, for abortion rights, and for reproductive rights (including access to contraception and quality prenatal care); for protection of women and girls from domestic violence, sexual harassment and rape; for workplace rights, including maternity leave and equal pay; against misogyny; and against other forms of gender-specific discrimination against women.

In reference to the above, all they wanted was basically equal treatment and fairness for the female gender and not the definition of radicalism, bossiness, lousiness accrued to feminism by the 21st century feminists who crave for more equality than men and full independence from their husbands and families.

Moving on, this is the rather stupefying statement I hear from the 21st century feminist, I can’t deny my mum said same to me a long time ago “Do something with your life; don't depend upon a man to take care of you; don't make the same mistakes as I did”. So they have made different mistakes. They are the women who postpone marriage and childbirth to pursue their careers only to find themselves at thirty-five still single and baby-crazy, with no husband in sight and visit different vigils and sing the worship song “I am available oh lord”. They are the unwed mothers who now depend upon the state to provide what the fathers of their children won’t, a place to live and an income to support their kids. They are the eighteen-year-old girls who believed they could lead the unfettered sexual lives of men, only to end up in an abortion clinic or attending grade twelve English while eight months' pregnant.

Again, they are the new brides who understand that when a couple promises to stay together forever, they have little better than a fifty-fifty chance of sticking to it. They are the female partners at law firms who thought they'd make provisions for everything about their career except for that sudden, unexpected moment when they find their insides shredding the first day they return from maternity leave, having placed their infants in a stranger's arms who would in turn engage them in sexual activities, only for the bereaved mother to call for child rights activist. The question of where she was while her child was molested is left unanswered, then you see the net bombarded with images of placards seeking justice for the sexually abused child.

Also, They are the young mothers who quit their jobs to be with their babies and who now feel anxiety and even a mild sense of embarrassment about what they have chosen to do, who look over their fences at the quiet backyards of two-career couples, wondering if they haven't done a foolish thing, and feeling a kind of isolation their mothers never knew. Above all, these women are the majority of us today, women who are hoping to do everything -- work, children, and marriage—only to be better at nothing.

The idea of feminism now makes it seem a crime to do the dishes or cook, to change diaper for a baby, or to meet the needs of ones demanding husband. It makes one feel guilty to take a leave from work to tend to the call of urgent meetings from children’s school. The unnecessary evil gave women the idea that their career is their life and happiness and when you lose it, you lose your identity. Now to them, your career is your identity.

It baffles me that we no longer have women to raise our dear science students from the social science street. We now have women who now leave their families every morning to board commuter trains, the women who have traded in their housecoats for business suits, vacuums for computers, carpeted and upholstered living rooms for carpeted and upholstered offices, demanding tantrum-throwing children for demanding tantrum-throwing colleagues. Now what is left of happiness when our society is troubled with the evil posed by 21st century feminism?

Sincerely speaking, it is not true that our lives is limited to smoky atmosphere of the kitchen or to the coziness of the bedroom. It is also a fallacy that the only identity we carry is that of our husbands and children. There is no limit to what we can achieve and accomplish.
Moving on, it occurred to me that while you are restlessly chasing the goals of feminist independence, you might also end up being inescapably independent which might be driving you nuts. I think the thing of happiness, career and family should be a personal decision and not a social debate.

Furthermore, one shouldn’t allow or concur to some rules, theories and concept to be a yardstick for one’s life. Happiness is not something that happens along the road through some conferences or while consuming some motivational materials and some books on “how to have a long lasting marriage” recipes. It is now or never. You don’t have to wait for something around you to change before you can choose to be happy. Nothing but yourself can bring you to happiness.
I couldn’t agree more with the words of Beyoncé who said “we need to reshape our own perception of how we view ourselves”. Before we aspire to take the lead, there is a crucial need for us to live up to expectations and sow a seed.

To digress a little bit and share my views on equality. A simple illustration derived from logical reasoning that is not intended to corrupt your belief or idea. Permit me to say that God almighty did not create the world to be equal. If He Himself can make the lion the pride of the jungle, to the sharks that gives protection to remora fishes in the ocean. If He Himself can make lion a predator to prey on other animals, to the big fishes that swallows smaller fishes for survival in vast waters, to the world of man consumed by greed and deceit and struggle for survival.

It could be deduced and logically concluded that based on the principles of logic, there will always be the weak that will seek protection from the strong “fact”. We will also have the predators to prey on other animals for survival “fact”. Based on that simple illustration, the world is not just made to be unequal, it is bound to be unequal. In the world of men filled with greed, “Equality is an unrealistic dream”.

In continuation, if we think of full independence as being apart and alone, we will be shredded in pieces. While I will not give in totally to the ideas of feminism, I will also not criticize completely the concept but rather indicate where the women’s movement should be directed. Let it be known that it is of fact that women will be preoccupied with love and looks which no political views can change. Rather than have a misconception of what equality of the male and female gender is, rather than having a generation of insane girls and women, rather than chasing unrealistic dreams, believing depraved myth, agreeing to misconceptions and simultaneously depriving ourselves of happiness. Why can’t we raise women of undoubted abilities, paragon of beauty, epitome of excellence, women empowered with knowledge, undaunted populace of rare breed of women who can also be home makers by passion, career women by choice, care taker and wife by providence?

Allow me to say it is not a bad idea to be the CEO of your company, to the home maker of your home, to the care taker of your family but it dangerous to nurse the idea of being a single mum, a divorcee because surely these are few out of the havoc feminism will wreak.

In advancement, I see the concept of Feminism as a fabrication by people with low self-esteem, ill self-perception, failed marriages, failed relationships and crashed homes. I will not deny the fact that I want to have a good career, I want to make brilliant decisions, I want to make the best wife and good mother, I don’t want to be a single mum and most of it all, I want a home and not just a home, a home with happy people. The feminists of today are those who after trying out the above and failed, they arrived at a conclusion that a woman can live without a man, can have a life of her own with a very good career and in turn poison the minds and aspiring home makers, career mums and care takers.

Again you might be happy being alone but never compare yourself to an average woman.
On a final note, if there is any antidote for feminism then we should consider masculinism.